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Dear Alf 76 - Hype-giene and Safe-tea

Alf's gone a bit safe-tea conscious and is eager to start a dialog about cleanliness and comfort in the latest Dear Alf.
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Don’t you even think abour pouring yourself a drink without washing your filthy mitts with my special tea-based cleaning gloop. It kills 8% of germs 87% dead!

And that’s important because without taking precautions against the dirt and dangers of this Oddworld, you’ll never have the clarity of mind to pay me full attention.

So I want your full attention while I talk about taking care of yourself, you got it? Good! First question.

Taylor Have Mudokkens ever vomited form drinking too much brew? Is the after effects like a hangover on steroids that just wont go away followed by an extreme craving for more or is it a little different? Seriously what do the put in that stuff other than your Bones and tears?

Y’know, after finding out that much about what goes into Brew, I’ve decided we all know far too much about it. If that ain’t enough to put ya off the sickening stuff for good, you’re either addicted or ya ain’t got a clue what it’s like. If you’re addicted, then come in my brother! Let’s get you taken care of with love and teaspect. If you’re in the dark, get out and stay there—I ain’t inviting you into this pit of indignity.

P.S. I Found a six pack mysteriously hiding beneath the floor boards you wouldn’t have anything to do with it would you? ALF that better not be yours!!! >:(

Yeah, that’s mine. I’ve been workin’ out a lot lately. Focusing on my Scrabs!

Michael Snyder Just out of curiosity, does it hurt when Abe speaks? I’m sure it does with his lips being stitched together and all, but when I see him talk it looks like he barely has a problem with it.

It hurt for the longest time, but they’ve been there since he was a minor Mudling crawling underneath sawblades with a blankie and a washcloth—as an aside, trust me, never get those two mixed up. Whatever cheapo stitch tech they used on Abe hasn’t stood the test of time, ‘specially since Abe’s gotta be so chatty all day. Remember: Too Much Talkin’, Lose A Mudokon!

Lee Reese Another question for Alf, How is it that Muds have such hard slaps? I’ve seen some and they don’t look that strong, but they look like they have one powerful back hand.

Have you seen the size of our hands? They’re almost a foot long! It’s not about how mighty we swing, it’s the weight behind it. Who’d ever need a jet-propelled wrecking ball?

David Hey Alf i was wondering have you and your brothers ever messed with a beehive, and later regret it? Especially when you realize it was a grave mistake and running for your lives and asking abe for help but hes faster than you and you can see a bee swarm around you wondering what went wrong?

I can assure I’ve never messed with a beehive and not regretted it. I also regret reading your morbid little story. It ain’t like I need to sleep or nuthin’, honest to bees!

Christian Do slogs hump furniture?

Much worse, they chew it. Don’t matter if it’s fabric, wood or metal, they’ll get their teeth right into that. If ya don’t wanna live surrounded by decrepit desks, bedraggled beds and wartorn wardrobes, muzzle that mutt! Handy for keeping the neighbours off your turf, though.

Andy please give me advice on how to handle the wait until New n Tasty

Sure! You could play all the Oddworld games, start to finish, 100% ’em, how ’bout it? And if you get all that done, well I dunno, try your hand at some Fan Art perhaps? Always happy to have new additions to my master ‘in’ pile! Take up a hobby, like Scrabdancing or Wolvarchery, or trying learnin’ somethin’, like Sligonometry or Glukkonomics.

CrantheMudanchee Hello Alf! I had an interesting question about Glukkons I’d like to ask.. After going No. 2, how do they wipe it?

From their memory, like I’m gonna go do right now. You guys gotta learn the boundaries, yo! Repeat after me: I don’t wanna go downstairs or talk about it!

It’s gonna take me at least a week to build up the mental reserve to pull anything else outta my magic sack of questions, so make sure you send everything you got my way. After all, the only fun mailbag to lug is a bulging one! So keep your queries, curiosities and conundra comin’ in, in the comments below or using the hashtag #DearAlf on Facebook or Twitter. See you next week for more Dear Alf!

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Dear Alf 76 - Hype-giene and Safe-tea, 4.9 out of 5 based on 26 ratings

I am over 13

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Alf's gone a bit safe-tea conscious and is eager to start a dialog about cleanli...
timeJul 11th, 2014

Comments

  • BAR

    Dear Alf, will Abe ever find happiness with a family of his own and forget all the horrors of being hunted down by cannibals of all Odd-people species?

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  • SoulSkull

    Dear Alf,

    I’ve been a long time fan of you answering questions for the fans for quite some time. It’s been a while since I posted here, but I wanted to ask you a question. Are there any Glukkons that have taken alternative life styles? If so, have any of them ever been disrespected for it? I know it’s a long shot in the dark, and by shot I mean several feet underground, but I guess one CAN hope that some change still goes on in their culture.

    -Jerry

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  • Kohbz

    Hey Alf,
    I remember back in the day, before the money dried up (but we shan’t speak about that dark time) there was talk of a spin off RTS called ‘Hand of Odd’ with (Naturalists i.e. Mudokons/Creatures) vs Industrialists (Glukkons/Sligs etc.)
    I was wondering if the Glukkon fat cats up top have reconsidered this concept now business is booming, publishing costs are down and and there aren’t many decent RTS’ in the market? Just food for thought… for more food, you could consider hiring me for my other genius ideas.

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  • sagaevan

    Dear Alf,
    Where’d you get your fez? How’d you befriend Crig the slig? What did Soulstorm Brew taste like? What is it about a mudokon fart that makes it so powerful? Do you think your brewery rehab is actually working? And the most important question of all… Where do sligs come from?

    Thanks in advance,
    with love, sagaevan.

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  • UnderTheSun

    Hiya Alf, got a few of questions for ya.

    1. A long time ago, I saw these pink, flying blimp creatures in a Hand of Odd video. Recently, I just noticed that there’s one in the First Ten Years book, reflecting the energy off of a Storm Circle. What are they, and do they help you collect firewood?

    2. How’s New n’ Tasty sales going so far with the PS4 alone? Also, how was that Alf’s Escape DLC for you? Was it icky in the Dreg Chutes?

    3. What’s life like at your village, where is it (since the Monsaic Lines and Raisin’s Cave seem pretty distant), and what’s to see?

    4. How’s your chanting prowess, if you got any (seeing as all nativized muds we’ve seen can)? We’ve seen a lot of different ways of chanting in New n’ Tasty among the Mudokon characters, so how’s yours go? What can and do you do with it?

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    • UnderTheSun

      … Erm, seeing as the PC edition has been released, as well as the impending XBox One release, I suppose Question 2 could be switched to apply to whatever is selling when this post is answered.

      Alright, (preordered) game’s almost done downloading, gonna play!

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  • Maru

    Yo Alf, I got a question about foods and stuff. I know Slogs and Scrabs eat meat, but what about Mudokons, Gabbits, Sligs, and Glukkons? Are they omnivores, herbivores, carnivores, etc? Also, nice hat.

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  • Rocketeer Raccoon

    Dear Alf, I’m very pleased and excited that New ‘N’ Tasty has finally been given a release for Steam, now I don’t want you to think I’m going to sound rude but what took you all so long? When it comes out on Steam and the other systems it’ll be almost a year since it came out on the PS4.

    Another question I would like to ask is, I know it’s very likely we will see a new Abe’s Exoddus but are there any plans to also “reboot” Munch’s Oddysee in the same fashion as New ‘N’ Tasty?

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  • Protorez

    Dear Alf, Do Mudokens receive any employment benefits from Rupture Farms? Believe it or not, I’m sure I’ve worked in worse places.

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  • MasterOfTheArcaneArts

    Dear Alf we already know about a mudokon’s magical powers and the shamans but are there any other kinds of magic on oddworld and if there is are there any mudokon wizards, witches, druids, alchemists,…..Jedi? I <3 U bye

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  • xXblazmodzXx

    Dear alf. I know it’s probably reeeeeeeeally wierd to ask but. You might not remember me! But my name is jonah! You answered my questions before in 2012! but anyways. Is abes oddysee and abes exoddus for pc usable with gamepad? i have a xbox one controller with its dirvers but the games dont seem to have controller compaibility some people can but i dont know :/

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    • quadpl_03

      You can try using a program to map keyboard keys to your gamepad. That’s how I force “gamepad support” on all of my games. There’s several free programs out there that will do this. The one I use is antimicro.

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