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Dear Alf March 2012

As the nights grow later and the sun grows stronger, I am reminded of a very important time in my life, when I was travelling…

As the nights grow later and the sun grows stronger, I am reminded of a very important time in my life, when I was travelling a desert with my Mudokon brothers to go looking for a bone-mining operation. At the time we were hot and hungry and our eagerness to help out prevented us from asking important questions: How far was the journey? What would we do when we got there? Why didn’t we saddle up a bunch of Elums? All these years later I look back at this as a time of innocence, a traumatic occasion that encouraged me to find out more about Oddworld and share that understanding and wisdom with everyone around me. This is the venue. You are the audience. Ask, and your pal Alf will answer!

Forerunner: Hey Alf, if there was any kind of machinery (Oddworld or beyond) you’d like to try out, what would it be and how would you go abouts using it?

I’d love to be able to drive a forklift. Just think of all the heavy lifting I could get done! I’d be lifting whole crates of tea and dumping them in giant cauldrons. When it’s time to close the Rehab, I don’t have to drive everyone out with loud drumming, I can drive them out with a motorized vehicle. And when I want a bonfire, just move the wood myself instead of waiting for my lazy villager companions to do it for me. Man, if I had a forklift, I’d be invincible.

John: Hey Alf!
I heard about The Mudokon Queen today.I thought it was abe’s Mom Lol.
But she is the Only female right?
Should we be able to see her?
I mean do you have any photos!

I’d like to be naïve here, but when a guy on the internet starts getting excited and asking for photos of a female, I can’t just shut my eyes, point in the right direction and hope for the best. Luckily, no, I don’t got any photos for you. She’s been held under lock and key for decades. But still, watch it, bub – that’s our mom you’re talkin’ ’bout!

GeneralDripik: Will we ever get to see the mudokon queen (in Abe HD maybe?)

I don’t think there’s a single Inhabitant who wants to keep the Mudokon Queen chained away in some unseen prison factory. Well, I suppose the ones that are doing the chaining. And those that are benefiting from it. But everyone else is dead against it! It’s only a matter of time before we break in there and bust her out! It’s just, y’know, there’s a bunch of stuff I gotta get done first.

oddalisque: If the vykkers keep your queen than where do native mudokons come from?Is there another queen or they were born before your queen was captured?(in that case they must be very old)Or are they slaves who had escaped?

The Mudokons you’ve seen are mostly escapees from ‘civilization’, either slaves that broke free from their former workplaces, like Abe, or hatched from eggs kidnapped from factory nursaries. I’ve often wondered if there are Mudokon tribes somewhere out there that are surviving free from industry’s labour trade. I imagine them living in castles of chocolate and cloud, with every variety of tea imaginable available on tap.

Is Stranger the last…of his kind?And if there are others where do they live?And how do they live?Have you met any and what do you think of them?

If there are any more… of Stranger’s kind, they’ve hidden themselves well. You’d have to, to avoid being… noticed by the other inhabitants. I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be fascinated to see a… one of them.

Adam: Hi Alf! Can you tell me all about this ‘Uwaya’ state that was mentioned on an Unreleased Slig News clip?

Oh man, you won’t catch me saying anything about the Uggae Estate. Not with the lawyers those freaks have got. I hear it’s ruled by a horrible monster that can literally scare you to death with its gaze. Nope. I’m not going there.

Gareth: Hey Alf, after I found out I have a tapeworm because of my mother’s puppy having fleas. I feel worried and sick. I was wondering if there any freaky parasites in Oddworld and could you let me know if you anyone who has them. It would make me feel a little bit better.

My friend Jimmy used to have a tapeworm. One day he was picking his ear and pulled out a whole great loop of tapeworm, which snapped off, leaving two ends of the tapework inside him. This would happen every couple of days. We all got so grossed out. Hope you get better soon.

isaiah: why is abe blue and why is his lips stitched is it because he couldnt shaddap

Abe’s lips were stitched to stop him from crying all the time. You can’t work in a slaughterhouse if you’re going to spook the livestock with your loud wailing. His stitches may have loosened over the years, but that forced vow of silence taught Abe to keep his emotions to himself, or at least keep them quiet. Abe is blue because he’s sad. This doesn’t affect his job. Color is silent.

Vincent: What type of shirt is Brewmaster wearing? I’d like to get one but I do not know the proper name

Your best bet is to start looking at chef jackets, preferably single-breast (they are usually double-breasted). Unless you’re a Glukkon, you’re unlikely to find quite the same design, but if you’re a dab hand with a needle and thread, I’m sure you could create something quite stunning.

Spencer: did abe fail his mission at Rupture Farms because there been sighting of a Mudokon Pop advertisement in Abe’s Exoddus as well as Abe mentioning them in Munch’s Oddysee. In Stranger’s Wrath HD, barrels of Mudokon pops are seen throughout West Mudos. Do you think abe will have to go back and do you think Molluck is behind it or some one from the Magog Cartel mabe?

GeneralDripik: In abes exodus there is a poster for muddokon pops, and in strangers wrath hd there are barrels full of mudokon pops. Does this mean that Mudokon pops are still bieng made and if so, are you worried?

You can shut down the company, but you can’t bury the idea. Apparently Molluck shared his plans with someone who thought it would be a good idea. That’s how business works, I’m afraid. I wouldn’t say Abe failed, I’d say he’s incited a full-scale slave rebellion.

IncredibleMeh: Is Abe the only mudoken with the ability to posses others? If not, than theoreticaly, if two mudokens possesed each other, would that effectivley swap their bodies?

Abe is the only Mudokon I know with the ability to possess others, but it’s not a power unique to him. It’s one of those long-forgotten practices that wise old Mudokon shamans spent their entire lives learning to perform for mere seconds at a time. There always has to be someone who comes along and shows everyone else up, and in the field of possession, that’s Abe. I don’t think Mudokons can possess each other. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing Abe had that kind of power.

Does this ability have anything to do with his odd blue coloration?

What’s the obsession with trying to explain things as a consequence of skin color!? Abe is blue because he has poor blood circulation.

Did the glukkons have his lips stitched because they knew he had this power?

The Glukkons publicly deny that Mudokons have any psychic powers of any kind, but did you notice all those chant suppressors that fill every single factory you’d care to stumble across? Those devious liars know more than they’re saying!

GeneralDripik: What did General Dripik do to get his medals?

They’re not for success in battle, if that’s what you’re thinking. He got them for making lots of Moolah.

Whats the secret recipie to your tea?


Are slogs, scrabs and parmites blind?

They’re blind in that they don’t use light to see the world, but they’re far from being unaware of their environment. There are other ways to perceive your surroundings. Paramites use their advanced sense of smell, Slogs have acute hearing, and Scrabs sense the electric fields that are affected by objects and creatures around them.

I was playing munchs odyssey when I saw the newspaper about the lulu fund, at the bottom there was a picture of a group of glukkons, in this group I saw director phleg, vp aslik and someone who resembled general Dripik, did these 3 not die in soulstorm brewery (because im pretty sure they all exploded).

It’s probably just an old stock photo they didn’t have to pay any royalties for. Don’t put too much stock in those rags! They’d torch their own staff if that’s what it took to get a story to sell like hot Scrab Cakes. The Daily Deception’s editors are in it for the bottom line as much as any other industrialist creep.

Morten: Dear Alf. I was playing Strangers Wrath on PC and completed the game. The end where Mr. Sekto escapes. Is there going to be a sequel to the game or just gone. Pretend that Mr.Sekto leaves and never comes back for revenge? :)

How do you know he can’t just accept defeat and go do some other business venture? Everyone’s so negative these days. Ya just gotta look for the best in folks!

krellin9: hey alf i was wondering, who do the glukkons sell their products to. it seems fairly pointless just making products to give to employees, there’s no profit margin. so is there another “consumer” race on oddworld that actually buys the paramite pies, scrab cakes etc.?

Sure, there’s millions of Khanzumerz. You just haven’t seen them yet because you’re following the exploits of the little guy in the Third World.

Small Face: Hey alf. What’s the ponytails on mudokons made of? Snakes or regular hair.

What are you talkin’ about, snakes? This ain’t Greek mythology, ya clown! Mudokons have feather-like hair that can be put in a hundred and one styles, and the ponytail just happens to be one of the most practical. Myself I prefer the elegance of a topknot. You get all the safety aspects of the ponytail, but it’s so wonderfully stylish and makes me look awesome.

Also How do sligs walk with rounded feet?

Pretty darn well, I’d say!

Petsu-chan: Hey there Alf-san! Hows the tea? I have two questions. First is how did the inhabitants of Oddworld develop a Germanic language such as English as their lingua franca throughout the entire planet along with the Latin alphabet? How did everyone start using them? Im sure everyone had their own unique language (besides the whistling and mechanical grunts). I mean the unique names of everything in Oddworld does point out there must be something. Also with the usage of “Gulags” im guessing someone (or something) must have spoken Russian at some point in time?

I’ll go ahead guess you’ve been exposed to Oddworld in an English-speaking country. Those fans who live in France, German, Italy or Spain probably disagree with what we speak. It’s translation for the sake of you guys that don’t understand the languages of Oddworld. The various races, cultures and classes on Oddworld all developed with their own languages and dialects. Native people used ancient tongues that tended towards melody and harmony, reflecting their overall cultural attitudes. The industrialists shrugged off their heritage in favor of language that enabled their lifestyles, becoming at the same time more clinically accurate and shamelessly deceitful.

Second is a simple one. What does Abe live in? Maybe a house/hut/rondavel/shack/kraal/homestead or nothing at all? (yes me is South African)

Abe’s got his own hut, but I don’t go there unless it’s urgent. It’s always filled with toadying, over-awed fanmuds who clutter up the place with their useless reverency. I’m happy for Abe, I really am, but those guys need to get off their praise train and get to work building my bonfire!

Fishman: Are the clackers, outlaws, and stranger living in the same time you are or from the past?

Their story is happening at the same time as ours, just in a different part of the land.

krellin: hey alf i was wondering, i’ve heard of a very old story about something called nod’s oddysee, some places on the net say it was a real oddworld project that was cancelled others say it was started by some forum. was this ever an idea for an oddworld game?

It’s always satisfying to put an annoying rumor to bed. I have never in my life heard of anyone called Nod, and I can assure you that no one has a name as silly as that. So quit believing any old thing you hear and put your faith in sensibly-named characters, like Munch and Squeek.

Jack: hey alf are there any fuzzles that the vykkers havent captured before vykkers labs got destroyed? by that i mean are there any native fuzzles

There are wild Fuzzles all over the place. You have to watch where you tread to avoid upsetting them, or you’ll shortly be donating an ankle.They’re so overprotective. I only wanted to give them a cuddle!

when stranger was doing bounty work, would it be possible that abe and munch could appear on there someday if so,how  would the mudokons, fuzzles, and munch and abe react if someone was on there way to bounty them and how much would they be worth?

If it were to happen, I suppose Abe and Munch would be worried and watch their back. How much would they be worth? I dunno. They’ve done much, much worse to the Glukkon economy than any of the Outlaws have done to the Clakkerz. But Abe and Munch aren’t in Western Mudos, and even if they were, the Glukkons are more likely to hire professional security services than outsource their work to local entrepreneurs.

OddworldFan#1: Alf, are you wanted by somebody? Are there Mudoken Police?

I think you must be confusing me with somebody else. I’ve never broken any law, except that time I threw an empty bottle of Brew at a Slig guard. Luckily there was a boiler for me to dive behind and he never worked out it was me, although he did give me funny looks after that. Probably because every time I saw him I burst out laughing. Then he’d beat me and I’d stop, but it was worth it every time.

sanmi: hey alf i have two questions the first one is why do all mudokens don’t wear shirts is it to show off their abs and have sligs ever sang before

Those are two very good questions, but we are tragically out of time for this month. Ain’t that sad!

But all is not lost! There’s still time for you to submit questions to be included in next month’s foray into Oddworld lore and canon. You can email me, Alf, or you can contact me on Twitter or Facebook. You can even ask me questions on Formspring! So until next month, Stay Odd!

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