Dear Alf

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Dear Alf May 2011

Attention Alfnauts! This latest installment of intrigue and enlightenment is sponsored by the outstanding author of the official Oddworld FAQ. If you haven't yet read…

Attention Alfnauts! This latest installment of intrigue and enlightenment is sponsored by the outstanding author of the official Oddworld FAQ. If you haven’t yet read the FAQ, please go to the FAQ and read the FAQ. If you haven’t read the FAQ and ask me if we’re releasing on the Xbox 360, then you stand to face one huffy Mud! If you have read the FAQ and ask me if we’re releasing on the Xbox 360, then you obviously don’t read answers to questions. The below may not be suitable content for you and your kind.

Marcello: Two questions for you Alf:
1) Abe’s voice changed a little compared to Oddysee. Why is that?

Freed slaves love to learn about the forgotten practices of their people. Art, stories, building, hunting, tea brewing: our lives transform from drudgery to discovery. When your soul is uplifted in that way, your voice tends to follow suit.

2) How come Scrabs in Abe’s Oddysee/Exoddus are very territorial and agressive towards other Scrabs and in Munch’s Oddysee they walk in groups? Maybe they realized that they’re few in Oddworld (since RuptureFarms reduced most to cakes) and they thought that’s safer to hang in herds?

In the wild, Alpha Scrabs keep control over herds of lesser Scrabs. If you thought a single Scrab was lethal, wait till you encounter the whole dance troupe! The poor creatures in the temples have been locked in small spaces for years and gone a bit cranky. Or maybe they’re just trying to hug each other.

landbasered: Dear Alf,
While in Munch’s Oddysee we see a glukkon lab with mudoken slaves, (my apologies,) and there are a few sparse bird portals.
The bird portals in Munch’s Oddysee seem different then the ones in the games wherein Abe works alone. Was there a reason for this, aside from technology moving forward?

Just as the species of bird you’ll see change from region to region, so too will the portals they form.

masaaki: hellllo Alf my magnificent mudokon message man ,I merely have one small either request or suggestion .perhaps there could be some sort of Meech related odyssey involving the last Meech maybe .oh and also I must complement you on your marvelous fez you have there, perched atop your head like a red crown of wisdom adding infinite amounts of coolenosities to your fine being. Oh ah ,sorry,one final thing it seems we have a lot of unwanted sligs roaming about oddworld like trigger happy autumn leaves ,anyway my idea is, for a renewable food source … slig stew and slog sandwiches ,oh and how about slurg sundaes .I’m sure the glukkons won’t mind much .Or maybe fleech frazzles or fleech flapjacks ,something to think about tarahh for now Alf.

I don’t think there are any Meeches left to go on an Oddysee for. Thank you, I love my Fez. I don’t think I can imagine a less appetizing set of creatures. Next question!

Kinto: Hey Alf, i was just wondering, in munch’s oddysee on levels such as Dead River, are all those events taking place on a mountain? Because it seems when fall off the cliff, i fall into clouds.

Maybe it’s just a foggy day down in the valleys and lowlands. A more important question is why are you walking off the cliff? Clouds or no, that kind of behaviour leads to injury. Sit down, my friend. Here’s some tea. Tell Alfie all about it.

Also, do you own and ride your own elum?

I like to ride my Elum far into the forests where I know no one will ask me annoying questions. No, I won’t let you borrow it, you’re not covered by the insurance.

Mr. McMeowMeow: Sup Alf, I wanted to know how Munch must feel. After the sonar that punctured his skull and how the baby Gabbits are doing. I also wanted to know why abe never seems to put on any weight in all of his appearances. Tell Munch and Abe I said Hello!

I haven’t actually seen any baby Gabbits around, so either they haven’t come out of the water yet or they haven’t even come out of the can. I hope Munch doesn’t leave them in the can too long, something that shiny and rare is going to attract the attention of a passing industrial creep.

Abe not put on weight? You’re obviously not the dedicated friend who’s had to carry him home after a night out.

The blob: Are Sligs naturally two-limbed creatures with vestigal tails? Or are modern-day Sligs the degenerate descendants of ‘proto-Sligs’ who lost their legs (and perhaps their eyes and faces) due to the use of mechanical replacement appendages?

Sligs have two limbs, it’s just how Odd made them. They also have eyes and faces, it’s just that the less you see them, the better you sleep at night.

Zach: Hey Alf, I promise to only post this question once this time, in Abe’s Exoddus I noticed all the mudokon skulls were toothless but then during the cutscene in Munch’s Oddysee where Abe is pushed into the big well they have teeth, so do mudokons have teeth or not?

I should think if you’ve seen us with teeth in our mouth, then we have teeth in our mouth. Anatomy 101.

Andrew: Hello once again Alf. I have more questions:
1. I was wondering, if the bad ending of Abe’s Exoddus was canon,how different would your life be?

Well I wouldn’t have opened a popular chain of rehabs for starters. I probably wouldn’t have the job of answering all these questions. Hey, is it too late to make it canon?

2. The Zapplies that Stranger has are always with him. They must be pretty loyal. Can you tell me how he got them and that vacuum-thing he bounties creatures with?

Zappflies aren’t rare in the scorched desert. He probably just has a lump of rotten meat in his ammo bag to attract them. His bounty can, now that’s a weird contraption. Imagine being able to keep large creatures in tiny containers. It’s just nonsense!

Victor: Hi Alf, I was wondering, if there was any religion on OddWorld and if so which one is the main ones and do the natives and industrialists follow separate ones, thamks

There are almost as many religions and beliefs on Oddworld as there are Inhabitants! Native Mudokons cling to their old traditions which are typically a mix of animism, ancestor worship, shamanism and so on, although the specifics differ between tribes. Industrial races have mostly abandoned spirituality so they can persue profit without any pesky morals getting in the way, but weaker minded species subscribe to fearful superstitions.

Glog the Glukkon: Dear Alf, I have a couple of questions for you. Firstly, does the Mudokon species actually change colour depending on their mood, or is that “chameleon-like-feature” only visible to the player to make game play easier?

Our skin certainly changes color with our mood. Doesn’t yours? It’s probably not as dramatic as you make it sound, though.

Also, what can you tell us about the Vykkers and the Vykkers Conglomerate that we don’t already know?

That depends entirely on what you don’t already know. Tell you what, let me know what you don’t already know, and then I’ll tell it back to you. How’s that sound?

Steef Dude: I read somewhere that Muds are descended from birds, which makes the portals, feathery ponytails and general fragility of Mudokons highly understandable. But what about Clackers? Are they just short, fat Muds, or do they stem from another genealogy completely?

Mudokons related to Clakkerz??? I’ve never heard anything so absurd in all my life.

Leonardo: Is there any relation between paramite and scrabs? If I rember right early artwork call them “arachnid jr.” and “arachnid sr.” respectively.

You people won’t be happy until every Oddworld creature is cousins with every other Oddworld creature!

Tunica: 1. In AE, Abe uses SoulStorm brew for his farting powers. How come he didn’t get addicted to the stuff like the other Mudokons did? He drank quite a lot of it.

What you didn’t get to see is all the time Abe spent in my rehab getting over the dependence he’d developed. It wouldn’t exactly have made good gameplay.

2. What food do the Natives eat? Surely not the products sold by the Glukkons!

No, that stuff is bad! Filled with toxins and plastics and nasties. We get our food from growing and harvesting plants, and from rearing and hunting critters. Of course we do it all sustainably, with total respect for nature and the land and the food itself.

3. What ever happened to Big Face?! I read somewhere that he went into hiding because he thought he accidently killed Abe when he knocked him of the podium??

He’s not hiding in my basement! Uh oh… Please don’t call the Mudokops!

4. What does Abe do all day, now that he seems to have some spare time?

Watch videos of himself on YouTube.

5. And finally, I know you guys can view fan art (considering you have a section on this website dedicated to it; which I will contribute to when the holidays come around) and on the old website you had OddVerse, but can you guys also read Fanfiction? I know novel writters can’t, but can you guys? (I really hope so!)

Generally not, for much the same reasons. We’ve got our own stories to tell, and if they just happen to resemble ones sent to us, that could be seen as suspicious unless we’ve made it perfectly clear we don’t read fan fiction. Don’t get us wrong, it thrills us to see folks having the inspiration to get creative, so keep at it!

Maddie: What do Mudokon babies look like?

They look like full grown Mudokons but smaller. Oversized heads and eyes, they’re tremendously cute. In photos, anyway. Put the camera away and it’s all tantrums and diaper changes.

Rob: I got 2 questions. First, if we ever do get to see the end of the Quintology, will there be 5 moons?

This question intrigued me, so I went to ask my astrology buddy if moons could suddenly appear over time. He gave me a weird look and told me in no uncertain terms that just because Munch’s Moon spontaneously manifested in the sky, doesn’t mean three more will. I asked what would happen if they did, and he just huffed and puffed about having to redraw all his charts again. That guy bugs me. I hope there’ll be more moons.

Also, I am currently working on a Mudokon costume (big fan). In order to do so I banded some of my fingers together, and they are now changing colors. Should I see a doctor, or use the coloring as the rest of the costumes skin tone?

You don’t say what color your fingers have turned, so I’m going to presume it’s a healthy green hue. If that’s the case, then your skin is probably just reverting to its natural state. Years of living indoors dulls one’s vibrancy. A return to nature restores skin tones and overall health, physical and emotional. Alternatively, you’ve picked up a dermal fungus. Go to your doctor and get that stuff scrubbed off.

Kyle: I have always wondered where outlaws got there names from? I mean Where Do the names Blisters Booty and Boils Booty come from? And please tell me theres a deeper meaning then i think ;P. But Why would outlaws ever follow a guy named Fatty McBoomBoom or X’plosive McGee? Abe, Alf, or Munch, now those are names I would want to follow behind. Stranger’s kinda Scary but he still did the mongo valley a whole lot of good so he’s OK in my Book:)

What’s in a name? You wouldn’t rank Outlaws highly for the hygeine, intelligence or morals, so why compare their nomenclature against gold standards like “Alf”? Outlaw bosses get where they are through successful villainry and thuggery. Silly names don’t factor into it. “His name is laughable, but he could still kick all our asses, so let’s fall in line.”

Nicholas: What is the life expectancy in years for a Mudokon?
Same question for a Gabbit and a Steef?
This has really been bugging me lately.

I’d tell you what’s been bugging me lately, but I want to keep my job. Let’s say 40 years, 18 years and Odd knows, respectively.

That’s it for this month, but don’t forget to send in all your questions for the next Dear Alf. Remember to check out Alf on Facebook and Twitter! Until next time, chumps!

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Dear Alf

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